Uglier things.

Frowns. And things are going to escalate and it's only going to get much uglier and difficult, but it's something that I have to do till breakthrough occurs. My secret pea i hide around tells me, Life should have lesser What Ifs no? . Never thought I would have to be subjected to be scrutinize . To be not forced but pressure to be under a certain kind of framework. Shouldnt what your interests be placed somewhere high up there too? It's scary, scary scary scary. Thats why I have my trusties.

For now, Im too tired to bother too many other things to do.
Still stretched like a tight rubber band.
Need sleep. Goodnight .
xoxo, mandy.

Stretched like a tight rubber band.

What if after 10 years, I am still stuck? Because I just keep pretending, just keep denying, just keep moving forward never stopping? Hoping but never trying, reaching but never grabbing, dreaming but never realized it. Too scared to stop, to pause , to think and get a grip on whats happening around me, too scared to feel like theres no ground below.

So I just keep running, keep moving , never stopping.

5 years will come and pass very soon.

What more 10?

Come & gone.

And Im nothing but just a fleeting moment.

xo, mandy.

Lisa Hannigan.

Contrary, Its not Love that tears us apart, it has always been , every other thing that breaks us down , betrayal , loss , heartbreaks , depression , lies , sorrows , departures , passings . And when all that happens, Love is what Keeps Us Together.

Happy 21st Birthday Olivia Lim.
Happy Birthday Hannan Ros!
Happy 20th Birthday Marc Khoo!
Happy 22nd Birthday Riko Issac!

Pss: Looong crazy tiny weeny bit of sleep week, hopefully coming week would be good. I want to watch MOVIES!



Psssss: Whenever I see a really adorable couple photo of love, words about love , quotes about being in love, I always save it. Secretly hoping one day, teeheehee I'll post it up, with my red pumping organ screaming out to some special boy. And then i realized what Im' doing, then I smirk and roll my eyes, pathetic helpless me.

Goodnight little lovelies.
I cannot wait to get it started, cannot wait for it to really be in motion , i cannot wait to leave.

xoxo, mandy.

Adam's 21st.

from that to....



this. (:





Adam Ong li ting [:


21 years of pure awesomeness.
We are not aging , we are just moving in life.
Counting years back, we have known one another for 7 years & counting.
7 years of being here and there , laughing silly , chilling , tons of dinner , boys & girls distractions that come in and out of our lives, still busy with our own little life but for reasons that beyond comprehension but just purely Love , we can still have the best of times , just sitting there, in a dark room , sipping cans of beer , indie music playing at the background , against a red wall, and have one of the best nights ever. Happy 21st birthday Adam Ong, thank you for sticking around when your the only dude in the clique, when you have to always hold our stuffs, tell us we look pretty no matter what , tell us we are not fat, and being the smart one , always helping us with our homework , allowing us to copy , hahahaha, bad students i know, oh well and even totally helping me design and do my dnt toy because you know how much i hated dnt. So thanks after all those 4 years of madness, we are still tight, still afterall, know we got one another's back.
Something about growing up together , all the wealth in life, all the certificates and supposedly futures and pretty much superficial stuffs, never fazed these people, maybe cause we see each other for who we really are, without the fanciful suits & dresses and fat wallet.

SO , happy 21st adam ong, cheers to good times.

xoxo, mandy.


pss: I am very stretched this week, beyond. Trying to maximize my 24 hours , still dreaming of my dream boy, in my head. Did the event today again at orchard, still think its a fun event to do. Saw lotsa of me friends, which is a goood thing. Okay! Gotta get going to do my stuffies.

Sleep well.

Every other day tiger.

I am craving S to my skin.
Crazy intense long day.
Must sleep after I finish my stuffs.

Still dreaming about a certain you.

The lost recipe of happiness.

Love. easy word to spell. easy word to say. most people throw around the word "love" like it's nothing. but it's definitely something. it's that "i can live without you, i just don't want to" kind of feeling that you get when you see that special someone. it's more than romance, more than the exchange of sweet words. it's the feeling of holding hands, soft kisses on the cheek, knowing that no matter what you're going through in life, no matter how you're feeling, that special someone will always be there to brighten your day, to know how to make you smile in their own special way. don't throw the word love around like it's nothing, because it's everything. never tell someone you love them when you don't. wait for that special someone, the one person that makes love what it is. - grey's anatomy

"We could spend our entire life trying to decipher the meaning of love and trying to use words to explain how exactly we feel, but we could never quite find the right dosage of words to explain it. What I know is, it pains to lose someone close to your heart, that ache, it's the opposite of love. it hurts you in places you never thought exist, while Love made you tingle in all places you never knew exist, losing someone close to your red pumping organ and reliving that moment time after time, it's never easy. Who said that after 2 years on , you'll be okay? You'll be okay , your life will move on, but what happens if one day you walk along the streets and bump into that same lover that once held your red pumping organ and smashed it into pieces. In that moment, flashbacks of what used to be reflects in both of your eyes and what could have been follows up. What I am saying is, we all heard of these heartaches and some of us even lived it , but be glad , that at least you love that much once in your life, even if the aftermath of aches were incomprehensible. Do we all gradually move on when we lose that person we always thought was gonna be that one? Do our heart ever beats in that fast beating, palms sweating , butterflies , smiling all around whenever wherever for no apparent reason? How do we do that when that person that shattered that red pumping organ is the very best you can get? Maybe only time can tell. "



Wise old words from a 18 to be little girly.


Funnnnnnnnnny! hahahah!
Oh my gosh , paper tomorrow!
kanchiong spidey only. hahahah!
Anyways, I think its a good thing t have an out of reach person in your life, at least you strive to want to be better. Better in all aspects. Its the ideology of it, not really the person involved.

xoxo, mandy!

Perfect score on me list.

I don't know what you smoke
or what countries you've been to
if you speak any other languages other than your own
but I'd like to meet you
I don't know if you drive
if you love the ground beneath you
I don't know if you write letters or panic on the phone
still I'd like to call you all the same,
if you want to, I am game.

I don't know if you can swim
or if the sea has any draw for you
if you're better in the morning
or when the sun goes down
I'd like to talk to you
I don't know if you can dance
if the thought ever occurred to you
if you eat what you've been given
or push it round your plate
still I'd like to cook for you all the same,
I would wash, I am game,

If you walk my way
and I could keep my head
we could creep away in the dark or maybe not,
we could shoot it down anyway.

I don't know if you read novels or the magazines
if you love the hand that feeds you
I assume that your heart's been bruised
I'd like to know you
you don't know if I can draw at all
or what records I am into
if I sleep like a spoon or rarely at all
or maybe you would do?
maybe you would do

if I walk your way
I will keep my head
we will feel our way through the dark though
I don't know you
I think that I would do
I don't fall easy at all



You are currently my new obsession .
I dont know you , but I know I want to, get to know you.
Hope to see you along the streets randomly one day p.
And I'll say " mmm , you look familiar, remind me again where........? "

xoxo,mandy.

All these over achieving boys.

When are you ready ? Will you ever know? Do you have to work for it?
Does it fall into your lap just like that? What are the signs? Is there even a sign?
Would you know if you missed a sign? What's crossing the boundaries?
Sometimes, I get a bit tired of being average in everything i do.
Where's that one huge perfect thing that I thought we all had?
Maybe I'm too blind to see.
Maybe my perfect ten isnt the usual things.
OH WELL...
All these over achieving boys , tsk tsk!!!

I'm just going to keep doing my thing.
Let God guide me.
Be faithful in small things remember amanda?

show you this really cute photo that melly sent me. (:


What say you?
Weekends are passing by toooooooo fast!
balance mandy!

xoxo mandy.

Breathe.

So that’s the best advice that I could give - just keep moving forward and don’t give a crap what anybody thinks. You know, just keep moving forward and do what you have to do, for you.

“

—	Johnny Depp

I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we’re afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we’re carrying around a giant tumor.

“

—	Grey’s Anatomy

Im embarking on a secret mission, i'm going to flip me little wings and fly. Finally a compromise my daddy and i have,
finally he understands that its not me fickle minded stuffies
but being open to opportunities that are presented and not being afraid to explore to go to uproot and leave.
Most importantly, I think we are one step closer to the fact that even though we are so similar,
i want different things as what he does.

anyways lately I think i've been thinking a bit too much, usually I already think about random stuffs like far too much but lately, maybe because of conversations that im having with my friends
and mainly my daddy, my brain is currently always in over drive.
Working a bit too much, figuring a bit too much out, my daddy says i m just afraid but the thing is, im not denying that I am afraid.
Afraid & utterly confused. It's scary how life is within your finger tips to create, scary how people just go through motions and norm and not go further, to push the boundaries, to challenge yourself.
Scary how easily I can fall into that lope and go in circles never feeling satisfied with life.
Scary the vast number of many people are not satisfied with life. Sure the number of people who has it all, who are achieving and are happy doing what they are doing, are very minimal , and alot of us gives up without trying because why? it's not being realistic.
But here I am to say, Why cant it be you ? That little percentage of people that has it all, define by themselves, not necessary wealth & power, but what makes them happy, why cant that little happy group consist you?

No one said it was going to be easy, no one said it wasnt going to be scary? I am inevitably stressed and feeling very breathless. Like I lost my footing on the solid ground and struggling to figure a way out and up again. Being very afraid to make a mistake, being perhaps maybe the only thing that stands between me and me supposedly dreams , is me. But this time, I'm going to take chances. Leaping off ...

So I think I need to learn to breathe, let go , stop trying to figure things out that cant be explain, afterall we are all just human. Its a sad excuse, but it's a true.

& I struggle alot with my issues, i;ve alot tons of them.
random much, but theres this one person i wanna sorta date since i wss what? puny.
hahaha random line end to a rather serious post.
but! on the lighter note, i was one of the victims to pheromones this evening when presented to 50 hot eligible bachelor.
How am i ever gg to settled when I am fantasizing about someone as yummy as some of em?
Goodness gracious.
But thats for tomorrow's worry.

nice new song aye.


okay ive gotta sleep, got a event to do tomorrow!
xoxo, mandy.

The world's within your grasp.

Mandy mandy Ohhhh mandy.

the world is at your feet.

its for you to grab to mould to create.

It's all for you taking..

So, what are you waiting for?

Do it , dont reject yourself, let them reject you.

study time!

Taking chances.

xo mandy.

Happy birthday low sin ting.

Okay finally 23 mr, well happy birthday!

I know you are reading this hahahah!

thanks for all the late nights and you staying up

just for me, okay i am damn shameless but thanks anyways, always just being a dial phone away

and actually picking me call up. Well, as lame as you are, thanks for being that too,

im laughing nevertheless, so it's a good thing.

Alright, have a goooood time.

We should take more photos.

okay! get drunk tonight at the hotel okay!

goooodnight!

Kitties.

Okay I am going to get one, hahaha cant believe im a cat person more then a dog person, okay i think I love both. It's just i dont know, cats are so feminine and so I dont know .. adorable. And I had a dog way long time ago.

Anyways! exciting day tomorrow, a tad nervous, okay cancel that, very nervous. but nevertheless, thrilling.

It always is, when you just anticipate because you got no idea , what the expect at all.

google : cave project still in the works.

someone came up to me with this verse today, and she actually answered one of my questions, pretty cools tuffs. can't find that verse now though. oh well will try searching for it. Crazy 8am lecture tomorrow so am going to sleep!

Goodnight loves.

Forever Young.

let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
hoping for the best but expecting the worst
are you going to drop the bomb or not?

let us die young or let us live forever

we don't have the power but we never say never
sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
the music's for the sad men

can you imagine when this race is won
turn our golden faces into the sun
praising our leaders we're getting in tune
the music's played by the madmen

forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
some are like water, some are like the heat
some are a melody and some are the beat
sooner or later they all will be gone

why don't they stay young
it's so hard to get old without a cause
i don't want to perish like a fading horse
youth is like diamonds in the sun
and dimonds are forever

so many adventures couldn't happen today
so many songs we forgot to play
so many dreams are swinging out of the blue
we let them come true

I had a beyond good awesome night, first it started with me gg to social night with samuel lim rui min , afterwhich bumping into angela and sherilyn which was super random. Had a good time and lotsa fun, afterwards I met up with the boys ( jerm ivan stanley adam ) and melly, and it was super love . Super fun, hahaha i love em to bits. Okay I'm dead tired, and im going to the gym in the morning somemore.

I want to be forever young. I dont want to perish like a fading horse.

xoxo, mandy.

tiger's summer daisy.

my favourite snack.



Your something super random, but ridiculously intriguing .
Nevertheless, keeping you around for sure.

whenever i hesitate and think im not done, i will stop and remind myself, how far i've come, how awesome i am now, and how i dont need you.
(:

random facts.

i love to gym love to punch it out love to push myself even further.
okay! watching online vids time now!
Goodnight little world.

xoxo, mandy.

Blessed.

One of the most fun, most psychotic , most exposure , most random , event I ever did. But nevertheless, hahaa insanely fun, probably be awesome to look back on. Okay , I'm very tired, goodnight little world.
I am suspecting meltdown soon, my exams , my tests , my project due dates, are rushing towards me now.
I need to balance, need to optimize time.
Oh God help me.

xoxo, mandy.

Summer's morning bright star. // Sasha's 17th birthday.

Sashie's 17th Birthday.


Show you how this kitty grew up since I've known her, but beware there are hideous photos of me included. I was once young and stupid too okay, hahaha but at least then, I thought I could rule the world.


I was 17, and zazu was like what? 14? hahahaha. told you we came a long way.

my 17th birthday, hahahaa. so cute no we?
okay my 18th birthday, i look like shit but dont worry, i only got better okay! and look at sashie , big change? Ask me who helped with the change? ahahaha.
See, i told you, we only got better. (: Still me being 18th, she being 15.





sashie's 16th birthday .



mandy's 19th birthday, sash's 16 aye.



those were all last year, being 19 and 16.

And tada, show you how sashie 17th birthday this year was like. (:
Dinner at Pepperoni , we love the pizza. love it super , love the peach sorbet too. Let me tell you who was there, hahaha. Sashie of course, mama & kong, super lovee them too, jeetjeet , ed , natalie , relle , caley, calvin , samantha , shaun , kimchi , sherry & yours truly. After dinner we headed to cafe iguana , and we hang out, do a million shots kinda, chit chat talk andd take lotsa photos like usual. And we super love all the way home. After sherry and I went off though, but thats for another post.
Anyways, it was an awesome night, despite a rude walk in to an unappreciative little guy that doesnt grow up but! Good night, awesome no doubt. (:





have u seen this? the biggest ass pizza ever.

sash and her happy cloud.


my two favourite girlies on the darker side. hahaha
took us 3 years odd to be proper friends , calvin, sashies lover. hahahaa!

my best friend, sherry.
mr. kimchi hahaha (:

ed ed edd
hello caley (:

See how far we have come? We changed, in all ways, physically , as an individual , the people around change a bit too, what used to be important changes over the years. Changes are always scary, but what is the most important is that, we need to embrace changes. Changes are going to be what tries to define us and mold us. And remember, we can only get better, only forward, never backwards. Happy happy happy 17th birthday sashie. Look at you, beautiful , both inside out, always. (:




Isnt it captivating? That something as simple as photo can capture all your favorite people in one moment and its a forever & ever memory.


" Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides, you have to make decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion,
it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day,
it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body.
No , don't blush, I am telling you some truths.
That is just being ' in love ' , which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. "

some kitty thought this is was cool, and i thought so too.
Goodnight.
xoxo mandy.