HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MELODY LOVE.

PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME BUT, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET HEART.

through our insanely close to 5 years of madness together, it was difficult to even pick out 10 photos only. We have ten thousand photos together. You know how much I love you not? Super alot that i am not sleeping now so i can just blog this so you can read it. Despite that I wrote you a darn letter . I am so glad we been through what we have been through, i am even more so happy that we went through things together , side by side. And through it all, we came out even stronger and well, a better sense of appreciation of what we mean to each other in our lives. Time is passing by insanely fast but I wanna let you know that I thank God all the time for putting you in my life and allowing us to grow OLD together.

You know i always got your back dont you? That I will always love you, so much so, i am publicly announcing that even though now you are attached ( finally ) , I am demanding still your time, care , love , sorry derek, you must share. ((: Dont worry, i will learn to love you too then yay you guys can adopt me. please?

Hhahahaha okay no sappy stuffs but thanks for loving me, always being literally there and most importantly , being my friend.

Happy 25th Birthday , we got about 70 more years to go. Keep loving my face cause it will be sticking right infront of yours ALL THE TIME.

Go , look through our years with these photos. Love you.

Happy birthday melo.

look how far we have come?

(:

Blessings.

Sigh, at first , there was nothing to worry about, but now i feel like theres something up. Freaking out a wee bit so I am asking you God to bless him and take care of him, keep him safe while he does his tests. For all that has been happening, for all the not so great news, though i am still thankful for many things should i failed to mentioned it!, i would appreciate it and love it if the test results comes out good and negative to everything that is bad. If i am making much sense, please. Everything in your good hands, everything , all the worries , all cast upon you. I dont need something major to recognize that , at the end of the day, all i need is pretty much You. So.. please, keep him safe and sound, and that he knows that he is safe in your arms. Putting our trust in You , let him know you are just right there should discomfort arises.

Amen.

Nothing like family.

xx

I'll make you breakfast every day.

More often or so you find yourself stuck in a rut , of going through motions and not understanding why on earth you even get up every morning to do life's necessities. This weekend has been like that, a mad rush and the body refusing sleep has gotten me way too angsty. But, beside that, this weekend has been good of some sort. At least i made my time worth while. Feel like the universal is showing me that as persistent as I am about some things, I am dangerously wavering, nothing bad, except i gotta be brutally honest with myself. Admitting this with a pang of ache but a smile on my face, what a whirlwind these couple of months. I think I need some "me" time like how I used too , set some direction and just keep going forward. Just keep swimming~

It's Christmas time again, shopping with the masses is crazy.

Help.

Goodnight, cant wait to spend some time with my melo tomorrow

after someone seemingly stole my bff away from me! hehe.

Love

xx

It was just emotions lost in transit, not many tick boxes were even being ticked off.

Important to stick to the list and nothing wrong with always trying to make good choices.

meow.

The one that got away.

being mean, like whatever...

but... seriously...

seriously, have a good week.

Ahoy, sailors, im setting off. I need this break, to rejuvenate, to think through things, read up on some notes,

run everyday , swim a tad, hopefully get a bit of tan , spend some quality time with my rents.

I tend to be impulsive sometimes esp under these kind of situations.

I pray that God adds extra strength for my sweet pea while im away.

really cute!

Sometimes, it is really possible to be too late.

I had an exceptional awesome lunch that reminds me how it used to fit perfectly, a puzzle piece that just fit, when everything for a certain reason fell into place , the simplicity of it, takes me back and a smile on my face with a acknowledgement with the essential human organ that, it would have been nice if it did worked. Alas! Some bridges once crossed, cant be returned too simply cause its been burnt. It was the only way out; burning it. Its all separate entities now, still got some mending i am determined to mend. The new year is coming, some things needs to be fixed.

You were the mistake i needed to make, except it wasnt a mistake yet simply cause i drew out and ran away. I am worried if I dont make them now, then i'll make them at the least appropriate time. Ive been so good, maybe just once, i dont have to map it all out do i ? maybe just once i dont require it to make sense. But, hahah it isnt just because its wrong that is stopping me, its the fact that i do not want to chase, i do not want to see that smirk on your face, right in the beginning, subconsciously , this was a chess game to you. In order for it to be a game, there has to be two participants hence nothing wrong with it, I sat down, and made my first attacking move. Somehow or rather, it got more then just plain old games at least to me. Alarms rang, exclamation marks shooting all over in my mind. If i do this, to counter offer you, I am going to look like a idiot . Can I really handle it ? I used too, a bit too well. Can I really handle these sort of relation - ship? Am I going to propose that idea to you? I am glad I am going away. Why am I considering this? Is it really cause I am lazy to find another outlet? Was it really even a outlet? It shouldnt be that difficult is it? Am I seriously gg to risk messing my mind up?

// It's not the goodbye that hurts, its the flashbacks that follows.

see you munchkins.

xxxxxxxxxxx

You are the Apple of my eye.

A nostalgic movie, a feeling that cant be shaken off.

Why is it a good movie? Simply because,

those that had it, reminisce about it,

those that didnt, wish they did.

Sniffles, what a movie. No wonder everyone bugged me to watch it.

I refused to watch with any boy simply cause its such a nice.. sappy heartfelt movie..

easier watched with my bestie,melly. thanks for watching it with me.

those emotions that stirred during the movie, im glad you were sitting beside me.

subtlety understanding why the heart strings were being pulled.

The nagging emotions that ties with the movie are strong and nice to have.

I wished at the tender age of 16, i wasnt thinking like i was 21.

cautious and blocked.

that i had such a story to tell, a lovely sweet pure simple story to share.

Would something so pure come along when you are growing older and more exposed to how the world is?

i wish at the age of 21, that i stop thinking like i am 30.

too much of the fence i play by, but its fine.

Time is moving too fast and I am being reminded of it many times lately.

Thats why, i am going to start chasing and mending.

because there are many things you do and not expect anything in return.

“Maybe in an alternate universe, we will be together,” said Giddens to Shen Chia Yi years after their last encounter ended in unfortunate misunderstandings. Not only do Giddens' words make us feel better about the fictional pair, they also pat faintly on our backs for those times that we may have allowed fate to slip through our fingertips. ■

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/movie/drama/2011/08/19/313949/You-Are.htm

Like sand slipping through our finger tips, sometimes, it really is possible to be just too late.

** I am so proud of you , always have, always will.

Heres a heart for your taking , a heart offered just friend to friend.

Please, take it.

Thank you God for taking us thru a week and giving us added strength.

xx

Heart beats.

I faced it that hey, it meant something.

You know where to find me if you wanted too,

You know exactly where to.

At the same time, the phone works both ways.

If you wanted too, you could reach me.

If i ever learnt anything from 4 years ago,

it was, just keep walking away.

Either ways, it saves you.

A crazy week. but! thank God for giving me extra strength this week.

love.

x

Un love you // Chasing after.

Sailor says hi.

// Themed: Elton's 21st Pirate Party.

// Ahoy! Accordingly to that previous textbox, I am taking charge , fully , okay not exactly, but reclaiming back at least half of my self choices decision making tool . If I do not chase, if I do not seek, if I do not move forward, who on earth is going to do that for me? After awhile, people tend to get comfy and then they stop pushing boundaries. Well, that's about to change for me. Been talking about it for so long, i am going to kick it into motion. I hope I do not overthink it, I hope I balance a sense of adventure with my mind still ticking logic. Give me a reasonable 6 months , if all is good.. I will finally do it. Mandy mandy.. stick through with it.

21 years old and not getting any younger.

Theres a inner void, dissatisfaction , I've outgrown this circle. Time to move on.

I understand that I can spend my entire life chasing and still not be happy

but, Happiness to me is not a noun, its more of a verb term,

it comes and it goes, but it'll always come around again.

I cannot stand not chasing anything, so here I go. Putting a quarter of my foot out there.

Picking it all up and piecing it together.

If you want to dream, dream B.I.G.

Sunday lazy afternoon post.

" For those I love, I will sacrifice "

Bunny says hi .

// Themed : Halloween.

Family time now.

xx tata kitty cats.

Leave me now.

Leave Me (now on Hulu at hulu.com/leave-me) from Ryan Dunlap // Daros Films on Vimeo.

Damaging drinking habits . Excuses for all sorts of party,

gotta stop gotta slow down mandymandy.

gotta re prime mind set and be forward.

Theres french, italian ,chinese , korean , indian , arabian , all sorts.

So.. seriously.. deserve way better.

19 year olds temptations.

Goodnight.

xx

Apricot - by Ben Briand

APRICOT — A Short Film by Ben Briand from Moonwalk Films on Vimeo.

Goodnight, today i ran as though time was for me to squander.

Habits are turning into dust as I move back into my comfort space.

With you far behind me.

love, mandy.

body art ; art of release.

" fly without wings "

Beautiful black drawn lines.

Craved , Engraved deep within a bodily flesh.

A significant of a substantial forever drawn on your soul.

A subtle reminder that is nagging at the back of my head,

its the second time that miso got emotionally invested and a train wrecked after;

a certain kind of compulsiveness to do some bodily modifications.

Always wanted to get inked but reckon miso dont want to get inked and remember this period, perhaps trying to play it down , play it small but its not logical. Maybe miso get another hole somewhere but.. nah.. the gravitational force to inking is substantial.

meow.

angsty and im heading out.

Empire of the sun - we are the people