When it comes to you.

Barenaked under your sheets.

Coupled with a top back head gear,

A couple of words, string into a sentence , that is fuzzy.

Of Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.

It's the 31st again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glNPRxyLk9E

Munchy chunky flavour.

Of phone fights, tearing, accusing, shouting, missing, kisses, intoxicated.

8th may , these photos are darn long ago baby girl s! honestly, that night was the night I finished my papers , slept hardly 8 hours odd for three over days , and was dead drunk that j had to carry me out. But what was so special about that night was, you texting and checking on me.

Every year, for the past 2 years , we talk more then we need to , we always over share , sober or drunk , say things we didnt know if we meant or not , this cant carry on to 2010 yeah? Oh no, but I said that in 2008 and look at 2009. I honestly dont know whether to laugh or to cry about it, but so long your happy. And look at me, I'm ten thousand million times better then I was sixteen, I am sure.

There are alot of things I do not know , but what I do know is , life is good enough now.

Xoxo , mandy .

pss: to kiss you silly again, agenda 1.

Throw me a rope.

Someone buy me a kitty? (:

Long week! Study work study work birthdays!

Pjs! Gym!! Munching! My cruise ): Scents!

I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so, above as below,
That I'm missing you every time

I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening
We followed the sun and its colours and left this world
It seems to me that I'm definitely
Hearing the best that I've heard

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go it's like holding my breath underwater
I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do
Oh but I've got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Whenever I'm falling you're always behind me
Come back and find me
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

If I can leave this tinseltown and fly to boston, I would.

Hottie singleton!

Awesome week! Then again, it's hardly ever a bad week is it? Haha, that's cause I've got awesome people in my life. * winks hahahaha. That was retard. Anyways! It was school, falling asleep in school, waking up late for school , but I still went to school! Random house warming at Jes's house. Cute maid outfit! Gym and swim on Tuesday with Melo, met shaun lee for late dinner! Movie marathon at kevin's place with justin naz zam alex and melo (: Make me watch zombie show, damn. Anyways, then they played mannnny rounds of winning eleven while I went to bed at 6ish am! Dinner with my sunnyside ups too! The proposal , appointments . dinner at random person house with alex and melly and amer , ed and relle's awesome gig ,dinner with mitch and shaun, partying it up with sher melly jac john mitch natasha all . dinner at my place with me mummy awesome cooking with ed mitch sash.

Now I am off to stay at sash's place.
and just now i found a fucking big cockroach near my keyboard area, I freaked like heart stop one sec kinda freak. And now I'm damn paranoid. Idiot. Whatsup with the lizard and cockroach. I swear it's not cause of my room, my room is awsome, my room smells awesome too. Damnnnnn

Okaaaaaaay, another weeek! Here we go (:

bitter hearts.

Bitter hearts, paper hearts , lovely hearts, thumping hearts, musical hearts , tugging hearts , of mine.

Tall, dark , lean .
Long nice fingers.
My life would suck without you playing at the back.

You need to go with the wind. Dont disrupt the eye of the storm.

Sometimes they just dont agree, but what I cannot comprehend is, they cant even understand. They forget that my dreams are different from theirs, that Im just an individual, totally different from em. And shouldnt me being happy be the most important thing??

The Proposal.

After appt , I met Ken and Justin we went to watch The Proposal, this movie is way awesome! It might just seem like another chick flick, it might seem predicted but... it was hella funny la. I think Ryan Reynolds is damn funny, you know how he used to do comedy flicks? This movie is like, has his personal touch, personal jokes that is just gonna crack you up. Its like it's sweet and funny at the same time, makes you wanna roll your eyes you know? Guys should learn it from him, look how he bag himself a scarlett~!


Plus it doesnt hurt if his body is totally just nice hotnesssssssssssss, at least for me. Ahahahahaha. Okay! Lets sum it up, simple , it got me laughing and crying and then laughing again and crying and mocking and smacking cause it's so funny then tearing again. So tell me, isnt it worth it to watch now? (:



It kills me that my lap top wire is spoiled , and I really need to go fix it! I found two new shops that I am totally in looooove with! happppy happppy.




Sometimes the past is knocking too hard on the door, but it's just a phrase, rest assured bitter heart. It will come to pass, just dont give in to those itchy fingers.

xoxo, mandy.

Balance.

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."

Brian Tracy
Lately, I haven't been productive enough in all areas that it sorta getting me upset.
It's hard finding that perfect balance. Balance for school , family , friends , work , myself.
I need to hurry find that balance pole because I'm walking on a very tight rope.
And sometimes saying No, might be the best thing ever.
I only got 24 hours, 7 days.
I know it might not seem alot, but perhaps for me, the burnout level reached.
but.
Remember mandydear, the dreams you have.

" Your no good for nobody when you dont know what you want. "

xoxo, amanda.

Deviant self.

By the way! I found one of my favourite phrases today again while talking to alex , the conversation went about something like this...

" Amanda.. You cannot keep looking for that perfect person cause sometimes , you will end up missing out cause you are so focused on looking for that person that fits in every single aspects.

" But Alex, I'm not saying that he or she ( HAHA kidding! ) , has to be perfect , of course there's some kinda frame work but, what I mean is, he has just to be that imperfectly perfect person for me.

.... It took Alex awhile to get that phrase , " Imperfectly Perfect " And when he did, he agreed.


(: It shall be one of my marriage vows phrase. That is, if I get married HAHAHA.

I havent been sleeping well so now, I shall sleep. Long days!


There's a past, perhaps half delusional imaginary , used to be picture perfect scene that upon reminiscing creates far too nostalgic scent that I need to erase from my mind. Too much connotations that comes with it.

xoxo.

Miles away.

It gets tiring sometimes to face up to expectations , reality slapping you left right in your face , most of the times we do things not because we enjoy it or even remotely close to liking it but because it's expected out of us , because we were brought up in a generation that there's already a certain framework we were meant to fit in. I hate this part of living , sometimes it's hard cause everyone loves you and me in different ways. In certain ways you enjoy , in certain ways you distaste it , but no matter it all comes from love. What comes with love usually scares the crap out of me, the expectations , the disappointments, the unnessecary arguements frictions, the I care too much thats why I am hurting feeling . Sometimes i find it hard living my life, no doubt i enjoy the fast paced competitive society with the upscaled parties and friends that I have who never fails to make me laugh and has my back. But, sometimes it gets tiring listening to the opinions and feeling like I never measure up , dont get me wrong, they only want the best for me. I know that .But , what I am trying to say is , I really miss my two best friends.

Lately I've been making it a point to keep up with my emails to my best friends who has to be half way around the world. We never needed the amount of time we otherwise need with other friends cause we just have that special bond. it's like I know they dont expect anything from me, they just see me as already a done product and not a work in progress, they dont set goals or expectations they only want me to be happy. And as simple as that, I dont think, nono, I believe they will never judge me, and they have never seen me in a bad light even for all my flaws. They are accepting , loving , caring , forgiving even before I even admit my faults , it's almost like before I even start pouring my soul, they already understood the magnitude of a certain situation even if they do not agree, they understand , they are the closest to unconditional love beside of course God and my family . And hahaaha, we 3 are the totally opposites in almost every possible way to scrutinize but yet similar in many small little ways. But the love they have for me, its undeniable . ); And I miss em so much I can cry sometimes. We all got our own lives to led, we got our school, our own friends , our families , but for some odd reason no matter how far away we are from one another, we are always in one another lives. As much as I want to give up my life here and just travel to be with em, I know I cant. I got too much amibition blood in me, but then again I always visioned the 3 of us living in a chosen state , settling down together. Perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps, after all the messy school and all settled down, we could really make it happen. I just really miss you two alot. I can't wait to see what God has plan for us, because I think He has an awesome plan for the 3 of us.

xoxo, mandy.

Compassion.

com⋅pas⋅sion

  /kəmˈpæʃən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [kuhm-pash-uhn] Show IPA

Use compassion in a Sentence

–noun

1.	a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Today, I was taking the train home. I'm doing my thing you know, fidgeting non stop , checking people out and creating scenes and conversational boxes in my silly head and have a snicker or two with my make up conversations. * Eyes rolls, yeah sometimes I get a little wickedly weird.


Anyways, then I spot a space inbetween those cabins to stand at? You know those metal things? Anyways as I step back I realized that actually there was a lady standing with her hands on knees facing downwards. And took off her high heels shoe. Obviously she wasnt okay but apparently no one was bothered by her behavior. Honestly as fazed as I was, I waited till like 3 4 stops later to actually walk up and consequently get stared at for my act.

And what's annoying to me is, everyone around her was looking at different directions except, of course at her. So I tapped her shoulder and asked her if she was okay. She looked up and gave me a painful look and said she's having bad cramps. I immediately took out my pills and pass some to her and told her to drop off the train and take the pills yeah. Yeah sure of course everyone was still staring at this little "show" .

Then I just stood there and did my own thing again. Then a couple of stops later, she started speaking to me again, telling me about random things like, how she was having a hard time , how a certain man was being not so right in her life , about church , about God. So then, I told her what I knew, how I got through a tough part of life, about my faith even though its not big, but it's faith still in God and how if its anything, God never put something in your life that it's too hard for you to get through, just look to Him and ask Him for that extra strength that is gonna get you through anything. So we actually had a conversation all the way back home and she told me more about her life , she even stayed the same area as me. She gave me her number and told me to drop her text , cause sometimes she just need to talk to someone and she was glad she had someone to pour things out to when days like these gets too hard for her.

Okay, the main point of me writing this is not to show how great I am , cause if its anything I do not think I am that great . Because to me, its just a simple act, if you see someone fall, wont you instinctly rush over and help? But what I am trying to put across is , what is wrong with us people nowadays? She was obviously in the train before I was, she was obviously in pain and no one bothered asking her anything and everyone was just trying to pretend everything was normal and looked in all directions except for hers, the cliche of it. And no one gave up their seat for her!

And when I went up to check on her, everyone looked on as though it was weird or something out of the ordinary, cause honestly, it's not. Its instinct , it's something we were meant to do. We were meant to love, care , give, hope. Shouldnt we be reaching out and showing a little more compassion ? Instead of worrying about what other people would think or what if this person is mad?

Cause let me ask you something, if you notice this lady crying in the train , or someone in pain , but because you were afraid of what other people might think or you just wanna mind your own business thinking that someone else will eventually go up and ask her whats wrong. Okay, then imagine this, the next morning, you wake up , wash up and all. Sat down and had your breakfast, open the papers and started reading this story titled " Lady who died because no one would listen " You stared at the photo, slowly the memory of this lady's face came in your mind . Then you realized, if only you did something. If only you showed a little compassion, if you did what no one did instead of just waiting.

Maybe it would not be extreme, but you and me , we both know, little acts of kindness , love , hope, goes a long way. Remember the last time someone asked you how you were doing? remember the last time some stranger asked if you were okay when you were tearing? Remember that, and pass on that compassion. If no one ever show you that amount of compassion, then start by showing others. Cause ask yourself, dont you want to be understood? Dont you want someone to listen to you? To know that even if things arent right, even a stranger can love and show you alittle kindess, wouldnt that gives you hope?

“The value of compassion cannot be over-emphasized. Anyone can criticize. It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one cares or understands.”

Arthur H. Stainback quotes

I hate pimples.!

Of hope joy love laughter munchs.

It's definitely been one hella week I must say, of new & past loves, of bittersweet memories , of catching up and seeing old friends , of toooo much partying! But! It's been good, awesome but drained. [:

Last Friday , I was trying to study sorta for my quiz then I met the ub boys at JP for dinner before they told me that I must go Raw with them . Well off we went, squeezed in Naz's car while we sang at the top of our voices through the entire journey. We munch a little, we gossip , we laughed, we drank , kevin's arrival back from norway with ken rushing to buying him drinks at the bar. It was all so funny and off to a new start , the two boys ended up at zouk with ridiculous amount of bad juices pumping through their blood while they made a call to me. But it was hilarious! Anyways, the rest of us went back . Long weekend ahead!

Last Saturday & Sunday, Lionel Ash Brendan Jeremy Morgan Benni Melo and me we went to bird park for the Canon thing. It was rather tiring cause of the early morning and the sun, but now at least we got the birdpark conquered hahaha, it was pretty interesting both about the beautiful birds and the erhem scent which Melo always said , " Breathe! " unnesessarily! And the amount of adorable kiddies there was enough to drive me a tad insane hahaha . A

fterwards family came to pick me up cause it was my aunt 70th birthday. They were super sweet about me and all and the things they say about boyfriends and marriage is like .... but they are so old it aches my heart but at least hopefully they are happy. Met Nicolas Jean for a wee bit too! Then I knock out in the night for another sunday bird park thing but I woke up to no voice, I almost freak out and died but it's all good now. Seen the chinese doc and another appt coming up with the throat specialist , fingers cross hope everything's good!

Anyways, sunday! loooove sundays, coming back home to my mummy's awesome cooking is one of best feelings ever! Afterwards, Melo and I headed to Macs to study for our quiz the next day. Told you it was a looong tiring weekend but was worth it. (:

melo's spoiled but all taped up shoes! hahah

Monday & Tuesday. Quiz in school, was frustrating cause I thought I had the question done wrongly and scribbled it all around with pencils but it was right ): Then afterwards , we went l4d with our lect mates it was damn fun hahahaa, then home. I cannot take trains during peak hour cause I missed 3 trains at JE. Dang. And I wore my shirt inside out too hahahahah till kath told me hehehe. Tuesday . Melo Mandy and melo's dad went for appointments, I woke up with shitty voice too so I hardly spoke but at least it was a good day cause we nail the appointments.

Wednesday & Thursday. I met melo melly line ash dan eric benni sh at zouk before that melly melo and i headed to attica to chill first, I must say it was an interesting night. Heart tugging but satisfying and damn hilarious with melo and her antics . Kevin called to look for us first outside attica for awhile before hopping off to doubleo, with us girls hopping to zouk again . I got a phone call but it was nonsense bull anyways then a little drama here and there then home. Thursday night I met travers first at his place before we headed off to kembangan to meet justin naz line melo ellyas all to play team fortress2, super adorable aye . Then melo and i headed to travers place to snooze then he took us to school the next morning .

Friday. Insanely TIRED! After lecture, Melo and I headed off to Nazzie place, they played teamfortress while I tried to catch some sleep , then headed to pick nic and deul before we headed to soccer. Ash and Line joined us and Ash did his awesome funky hair! Then Naz dropped me at Sash's place. We watched our Beauty & the Beast movie hehehe, which is darn sweet . Waited for Ed and relle then sash showed us the surprised she did on the Balcony which was awesome, the date was 070809 [: We had our dinner, I spilled drinks opps hehe, played taboo , then I showered and changed then I headed to Butter to meet J , ken, kevin , adrian, fel and all there for terri's farewell party. I met sherilyn there so we were together pretty much. I was hardly ever on the dancefloor cause half of the time we were seeking people and finding them . And everyone was on a happy high you know haha it was funny to see . I was darn tired at the end so I hopped on a cab with Justin then we headed back home .

Saturday . I had dinner with my family before heading off to meet nazzie and j at parklane together with melly, we played some games and then headed to winebar to chill alittle. Met sherilyn maple kevin adrian there , waited for jeric to take melly and I in so then bumped into brendan all for some birthday thing i think! The night was long kinda sorta , adam was being damn funny at PS with all his textes about Ivan all then they came to pick melly and I up but it was fun laaaaaaaaaa sorta.

Then was on the phone then sorta sort some stuffies out till sun rise remember? hahahahaha but all's good (:

Sunday! I dragged my sorry ass up early to go Ikea with my family cause my silly dad promised my baby sissy so I didnt want to miss out so off we went to Ikea. Bought some stuffs for my room and silly soft toys and thought of how to change the house , and I was so tired it was as though i was on a sugar rush and Ikea was a playground .

Then headed home to chill with my family while daddy and mummy went to aunts place. Belle and I watched Singapore Idol and couldnt help but to laughed at them together , hahahaaha joys of life aye. Then we watched and ogle, actually I ogled my sister thinks the body of those 300 men were disgusting hahahahaaha but that's cause she's 13, I'll kill her if she told me they were hot. Then she was damn retard about some itchy thing then complained like alot before she stormed off to bed, aiyer kiddies nowadays hahahaha.

Then my phone rang hahahaha then it was just yadadada happy talk then sleep.

I should do something productive today, like pack my room , study alittle, watch mindless movies and how I met your mother again .

I need to cut my hair, I have yet to buy a waterbottle, I want to buy a sleek black colored tailor jacket,.

I want to join Amazing race but only when i get my sily license and I still need to find the best partner hahah!

I need to meet eric all for dinner and kbox , i need to meet nigel since he just got back!

I also wanna join that Fun in Taiwan thing but it's gonna clash with my school dates so how now brown cow? ):

Yes I want to be travel host or at least the travel part , so how?

And I cant wait to watch UP teehee (:

Happy days happy times happy nights . (: