Miles away.

It gets tiring sometimes to face up to expectations , reality slapping you left right in your face , most of the times we do things not because we enjoy it or even remotely close to liking it but because it's expected out of us , because we were brought up in a generation that there's already a certain framework we were meant to fit in. I hate this part of living , sometimes it's hard cause everyone loves you and me in different ways. In certain ways you enjoy , in certain ways you distaste it , but no matter it all comes from love. What comes with love usually scares the crap out of me, the expectations , the disappointments, the unnessecary arguements frictions, the I care too much thats why I am hurting feeling . Sometimes i find it hard living my life, no doubt i enjoy the fast paced competitive society with the upscaled parties and friends that I have who never fails to make me laugh and has my back. But, sometimes it gets tiring listening to the opinions and feeling like I never measure up , dont get me wrong, they only want the best for me. I know that .But , what I am trying to say is , I really miss my two best friends.

Lately I've been making it a point to keep up with my emails to my best friends who has to be half way around the world. We never needed the amount of time we otherwise need with other friends cause we just have that special bond. it's like I know they dont expect anything from me, they just see me as already a done product and not a work in progress, they dont set goals or expectations they only want me to be happy. And as simple as that, I dont think, nono, I believe they will never judge me, and they have never seen me in a bad light even for all my flaws. They are accepting , loving , caring , forgiving even before I even admit my faults , it's almost like before I even start pouring my soul, they already understood the magnitude of a certain situation even if they do not agree, they understand , they are the closest to unconditional love beside of course God and my family . And hahaaha, we 3 are the totally opposites in almost every possible way to scrutinize but yet similar in many small little ways. But the love they have for me, its undeniable . ); And I miss em so much I can cry sometimes. We all got our own lives to led, we got our school, our own friends , our families , but for some odd reason no matter how far away we are from one another, we are always in one another lives. As much as I want to give up my life here and just travel to be with em, I know I cant. I got too much amibition blood in me, but then again I always visioned the 3 of us living in a chosen state , settling down together. Perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps, after all the messy school and all settled down, we could really make it happen. I just really miss you two alot. I can't wait to see what God has plan for us, because I think He has an awesome plan for the 3 of us.

xoxo, mandy.