habits

bad habits.

the more something isnt mine, the more i want it.

reason it out mandy ho, reason it out.

temporarily fazed.

thats all....

guard.

What doesnt kills you makes you stronger. // December

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
But told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not a broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

I had an awesome possum, super productive weekend.

I am very pleased, are you?

December is here and my entire month is getting packed up but!!!!

it is really filled with all my loved ones , so I am insanely happy.

Everyone is coming back.

I spoke to alot of people this week too, managed to catch up with tons of people.

So I am very happy.

Thank you God for helping me through my marathon despite my poor preparation, I pray You give comfort to the 22 year old boy's family for his demise, it is really a shame to lose such a young person .

bite.

I am going to pick a fight with you simply cause you are plain old childish.

boys vs men.

you cant go back after you are surrounded by men,

true? perhaps.

mandy my dear mandy mandy, keep your hands to yourself.

remember promises, remember your dreams , remember the lines you cant cross!

Brick Walls , though it is seemingly harmless.

Thus, insanely harmful.

xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MELODY LOVE.

PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME BUT, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET HEART.

through our insanely close to 5 years of madness together, it was difficult to even pick out 10 photos only. We have ten thousand photos together. You know how much I love you not? Super alot that i am not sleeping now so i can just blog this so you can read it. Despite that I wrote you a darn letter . I am so glad we been through what we have been through, i am even more so happy that we went through things together , side by side. And through it all, we came out even stronger and well, a better sense of appreciation of what we mean to each other in our lives. Time is passing by insanely fast but I wanna let you know that I thank God all the time for putting you in my life and allowing us to grow OLD together.

You know i always got your back dont you? That I will always love you, so much so, i am publicly announcing that even though now you are attached ( finally ) , I am demanding still your time, care , love , sorry derek, you must share. ((: Dont worry, i will learn to love you too then yay you guys can adopt me. please?

Hhahahaha okay no sappy stuffs but thanks for loving me, always being literally there and most importantly , being my friend.

Happy 25th Birthday , we got about 70 more years to go. Keep loving my face cause it will be sticking right infront of yours ALL THE TIME.

Go , look through our years with these photos. Love you.

Happy birthday melo.

look how far we have come?

(:

Blessings.

Sigh, at first , there was nothing to worry about, but now i feel like theres something up. Freaking out a wee bit so I am asking you God to bless him and take care of him, keep him safe while he does his tests. For all that has been happening, for all the not so great news, though i am still thankful for many things should i failed to mentioned it!, i would appreciate it and love it if the test results comes out good and negative to everything that is bad. If i am making much sense, please. Everything in your good hands, everything , all the worries , all cast upon you. I dont need something major to recognize that , at the end of the day, all i need is pretty much You. So.. please, keep him safe and sound, and that he knows that he is safe in your arms. Putting our trust in You , let him know you are just right there should discomfort arises.

Amen.

Nothing like family.

xx

I'll make you breakfast every day.

More often or so you find yourself stuck in a rut , of going through motions and not understanding why on earth you even get up every morning to do life's necessities. This weekend has been like that, a mad rush and the body refusing sleep has gotten me way too angsty. But, beside that, this weekend has been good of some sort. At least i made my time worth while. Feel like the universal is showing me that as persistent as I am about some things, I am dangerously wavering, nothing bad, except i gotta be brutally honest with myself. Admitting this with a pang of ache but a smile on my face, what a whirlwind these couple of months. I think I need some "me" time like how I used too , set some direction and just keep going forward. Just keep swimming~

It's Christmas time again, shopping with the masses is crazy.

Help.

Goodnight, cant wait to spend some time with my melo tomorrow

after someone seemingly stole my bff away from me! hehe.

Love

xx

It was just emotions lost in transit, not many tick boxes were even being ticked off.

Important to stick to the list and nothing wrong with always trying to make good choices.

meow.

The one that got away.

being mean, like whatever...

but... seriously...

seriously, have a good week.

Ahoy, sailors, im setting off. I need this break, to rejuvenate, to think through things, read up on some notes,

run everyday , swim a tad, hopefully get a bit of tan , spend some quality time with my rents.

I tend to be impulsive sometimes esp under these kind of situations.

I pray that God adds extra strength for my sweet pea while im away.

really cute!

Sometimes, it is really possible to be too late.

I had an exceptional awesome lunch that reminds me how it used to fit perfectly, a puzzle piece that just fit, when everything for a certain reason fell into place , the simplicity of it, takes me back and a smile on my face with a acknowledgement with the essential human organ that, it would have been nice if it did worked. Alas! Some bridges once crossed, cant be returned too simply cause its been burnt. It was the only way out; burning it. Its all separate entities now, still got some mending i am determined to mend. The new year is coming, some things needs to be fixed.

You were the mistake i needed to make, except it wasnt a mistake yet simply cause i drew out and ran away. I am worried if I dont make them now, then i'll make them at the least appropriate time. Ive been so good, maybe just once, i dont have to map it all out do i ? maybe just once i dont require it to make sense. But, hahah it isnt just because its wrong that is stopping me, its the fact that i do not want to chase, i do not want to see that smirk on your face, right in the beginning, subconsciously , this was a chess game to you. In order for it to be a game, there has to be two participants hence nothing wrong with it, I sat down, and made my first attacking move. Somehow or rather, it got more then just plain old games at least to me. Alarms rang, exclamation marks shooting all over in my mind. If i do this, to counter offer you, I am going to look like a idiot . Can I really handle it ? I used too, a bit too well. Can I really handle these sort of relation - ship? Am I going to propose that idea to you? I am glad I am going away. Why am I considering this? Is it really cause I am lazy to find another outlet? Was it really even a outlet? It shouldnt be that difficult is it? Am I seriously gg to risk messing my mind up?

// It's not the goodbye that hurts, its the flashbacks that follows.

see you munchkins.

xxxxxxxxxxx