Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Coconut Records.


Sniffles sniffles i love this weather. Dont you? Its mildly chilly.
Think I need a break soon, been tired. Oh wells anyways, caught Love & other drugs with Gab!
Havent seen him in like one year odd? Besides been making a point to meet people I havent seen in a year.

Anyways on the way home at around 9.30pm, i noticed freshly showered,dressed people on the way out. Sigh, haha wednesday nights. What a night, so far away. Hahha the fun I used to have, fun of somewhat yeah. Dangerous though, definitely irresponsible. The amount of alcohol, the situations I put myself in... Goodness gracious, glad I am done with that. Hahhaa no , not partying but those wildly parties. Anyways.... I am going to crash.

"you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you, then you meet one person and your life is changed forever"
Thats the kind of love i want. that one , in that movie.
you love hard, so hard you cant breathe.

xx

Monday, January 10, 2011

Gregory & the hawk.

vampire weekend.


I love the perpetual gentle rain that is pouring out there now.
I love how it creates such a seemingly soothing sensual mood that im laying in bed,
wrapped up in my batherobe, happy to be zoning out to my music with my orange lanterns switched on.

I do need a break to zen and be a useless human.

Nowadays it seems as though issues cant be solve cause emotions cant be translated to words.
If questions are not asked, how can it be answered?

I knew it was her, i dont know if it made a difference but I just wanted to know. Arent we all back to square one?
Where the end seems so horrifying to be cleared up that we just enter a monotone grey routine.
Day in , day out.

Good night.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Miami Horror.




I thoroughly enjoyed this week. No doubt a bit of a drama mama that i had no clue i was going to be playing the lead role in but its so lame, guys with their rankings and big fat egos, generally speaking.

I felt this weekend was productive though. Did my course, did some shopping, okay haha compulsive shopping, went for a ball, hit up attica! , found myself a teacher for a tiny dream, met old friends, went for good dinner with the group, laughed till my tummy ached, did overeasy , happy to spent time with melly on her 21st bday, did winebar & dash berlin. Saw people i havent seen in ages! Like lioneeeeellllll laopa, kevin pea , vyasa , jeremy koh all. But so packed, arrived at 1 ish 2, left at 3am. Gracious shucks. Good music no doubt. Churched, went to the museum for Pompeii, home with everyone at my place for my mumsy cooked them a feast. [:

Now i am going to sleep, recharge for the week ahead. Got some people to meet up with that I havent seen in ages, plus Melanie my little tiny peanut is back! So excited to meet her. Teehee. Plans in my organizer is insane. Shucks.

Oh! And my cousins & niece is coming, teehee i am very happy. Cant wait to see them, teehee.
And pooo, can't believe its 2011. bullocks aint it.

Okay! SUIT UP. The week is here.

I am upset MISS SHERILYN LIM THAT WE DIDNT MEET UP THIS TIME AROUND OKAY.
);
Imagine staying up there. Far away from everything.

Good night earthlings. Epic week but it was filled with love.

xx



Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Arcade fire.




I heart hype m, with a passion,
Gotta get my daily fix every night before snoozing.

Gym was insane today.
I am beyond smashed.
Gotta sleep now.

Goodnight earthlings~

' I have never been one thats lost in the middle , I have always resided at extreme ends of the spectrum. Wish I could do middle, middle would be so pretty to be at. But all these logic & unrealistic fantasy comes flashing me through , pushing back to the extreme ends '

It is definitely easier but are you happier?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Crystal Sandcastles.



"What though the radiance that was once so bright, be now forever taken from my sight.
Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.
Woolsworth~"



Tumbling hearts with unasked questions hanging in the silent air, with no answers.
battling with logic to overcome.

God grant me wisdom & patient.

Goodnight.

LA lights.



i was walking around in a target store, when i saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. the boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. the cashier said, “i’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.” then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”granny, are you sure i don’t have enough money?” the old lady replied: ”you know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.”

then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. she left quickly. the little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. finally, i walked toward him and i asked him who he wished to give this doll to. “it’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for christmas. she was sure that santa claus would bring it to her.”

i replied to him that maybe santa claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. but he replied to me sadly. “no, santa claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. i have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.” his eyes were so sad while saying this. “my sister has gone to be with god. daddy says that mommy is going to see god very soon too, so i thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” my heart nearly stopped. the little boy looked up at me and said: “i told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. i need her to wait until i come back from the mall.”

then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. he then told me “i want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me. i love my mommy and i wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.” then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. i quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?” “ok,” he said, “i hope i do have enough.”

i added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. there was enough for the doll and even some spare money. the little boy said: “thank you god for giving me enough money!” then he looked at me and added, “i asked last night before i went to sleep for god to make sure i had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. he heard me!”

“i also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but i didn’t dare to ask god for too much. but he gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” “my mommy loves white roses.”

a few minutes later, the old lady returned and i left with my basket. i finished my shopping in a totally different state from when i started. i couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. then i remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. the little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. the family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

was this the family of the little boy? two days after this encounter with the little boy, i read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. i couldn’t stop myself as i bought a bunch of white roses and i went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. she was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. i left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever..

the love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. now you have 2 choices:

1) repost this message. 2) ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Darn right it touched my heart. touched my heart till that while i was being funny amanda, i ended up being sappy amanda. Sniff.

Love, in its purest simplest state.
The innocent purist heart of a child.


sniff sniff

What happens when one you are comfortable with sorta in real life because of a past, doesnt make you wanna talk to him as much as one that's completely new ?

one that is so easy to be a couple with but yet not be friends,
while the other, so easy to be friends coupled with flutterings hearts but kind of difficult to reach out and touch.

And yet, you know your heart cant ever be tamed.
maybe i just need someone to run the wind with me.
try a little bit harder will u?

Never be foolish with someone else's feelings.


Goodnight.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2.0.1.1 - the pains of being pure at heart.




So hello new year, goodbye 2010.
With a new year, fresh start, clean slate,
i am burden with a heart that's hopeful,
that this year will be a better year then 2010.

2010 was epic in many years of its own.
Many new friends, bonds getting tighter, drifting from some, new hearts were broken and loved,
new relationships were forged, past relations were revisited, new found emotions and thoughts.
new fears of lost, frustrations with something i cannot do anything about, but nevertheless
I am thankful to God for alot of things in 2010.
Of both new & old

* Graduating relatively well, of course i could have done much better but I did graduate
* Sherry's family & mine family getting along well, doing dinners and christmas together
* Finding a new job and getting used to the hours and routine that it brought along
* Going to thailand with my uni mates and having a good chill out trip
* Hitting the gym every week ( cept for those some weeks in between missings )
* Running my first run
* Lost & found my love for books, thus buying and spending tons on books
* Got myself an iphone
* Got myself an mac book pro
* New found ambitions
* sherilyn leaving to uk
* making my first online friend into my real life true warm blooded buddy
* i am thankful that thru this year, my family just got closer, we love each other a bit more, all 4 of us are up & healthy!
* my groupie that is still around and making me laugh so much my tummy ache , that much i am thankful
* two of the boys gg to army, sniff sniff, all grown up. when the rest goes in, melly & i will have never ending stories about the army, but we will have ourselves our tiny little army ((((: , that makes me grin wide!
* those number of boys that came & went their ways
* So all in all, i am a heart full of million thankfulness.



This year though sigh, as awesome as i am, mistakes are bound to happen, hearts are gg to be broken , lives are going to change , new mountains to hike up & down , tears are gg to be rolling but! ah hahahaha, it can only be , bigger , better , then the last coupled with ten thousand bagfuls of laughters & rainbows.

The world is so big, there's so much to do , so much, to go and explore, things waiting to be discovered.
I never want to be 50 and lose the passion for life.
No doubt , sometimes you feel enslaved to the neccesscities of life, like work, but remember! though the sky might be cloudy or cleaer, the sun always rise from the east, your parents will always love you, the people you didnt get as family thru blood = friends, those who loves you, will always stand by you. Set your eyes on something high up there baby , its all yours for the taking.


This year, this year, I will make peace with the bitterness i have in my heart, with people i have lost, with truths that i have held back, for injustices i have suffered and tried to reason out for the sake of peace, i will make peace so i can breathe easier. I shant be lazy with the battle of those emotions of words cause at the end, the war will trumiph and my heart will be lifted.




~ Do you think you could love me?
Do you think you could never leave me?
Do you think that you could love me like i have never been loved before?
Do you think that you could awake this battered heart and make do with its broken sharp edges?
Even a willow doesnt stand alone for centuries.


Goodnight lovelies.
God i hope for this coming year, things will only get better, dreams will get fulfilled and work load is not too crazy for me to handle.

xx