I do not know how to ask for more. And im worried about all the rules i used before to keep myself in check, now they have become thick thick unbreakable walls. How am i ever going to live with all these rules in place? All the yadadadada.. Maybe making a mistake, breaking out first, is the way out.. Too deep in.. Feel like i missed out far too much and. I will keep missing out.
There are many reasons why i love work, but one of the main reason is that, i feel more in control of whats going to happen, a certain amount of hard work, a certain amount of presence , will get you somewhere , for sure or somewhat. I like to know whats going to happen, i like to know the plans, i like to know where is something heading too, i like to know that by putting in this much effort, what the results will be. I wish i was more spontaneous .
God, i pray for a good week ahead, got a feeling it might be a wee bit tough. I hope i dont choke up with emotions.
Goodnight.
xx
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