The pursuit of happy-ness.

True faith flowers from and through doubt.

If you never questioned your beliefs, - you are just a puppet dancing to somebody’s strings. If God had wanted your mindless obedience, you would’ve been created without mind and without free will. But you have both so you can come to God of your own accord. Just look at the lives of saints, - most of them had gone through a dark night of the soul, and that’s why their faith was so strong. The path to true faith always goes through doubt. So ask those questions you’ve always been afraid to ask, and find the answers, and then your faith will become unshakable.

-annoymous.

What drives me crazy insane is the battle between worldly possessions and giving up all for the glory of God. I dont quite understand the path, betweens the Wants and Needs. It's difficult to differentiate and actually honestly thats the easy part, whats really difficult is, after being able to differentiate it, sticking with your answers. Thats the part I find tough.

There's always a truckload of factors that affects your decisions or path when you pursue your happy-ness. And then again, what defines happy-ness differs from every individual. But, correct me if I am wrong. At the end of the day, after when the curtains are drawn in, you lock your door, you wash up, clean your teeth, change into your pjs, bounce into your warm bed, doesnt everyone just want a bit of Love? Love encompasses so much, hope, joy, comfort, shelter, patience, forgiveness, pillar, gentle, grace , hah pretty much all nice words associates itself through Love. It all starts from there.

So then the pursuit of happy-ness, in my opinion, lies alot in Love. Im not just speaking about Love in terms of a boyfriend girlfriend kinda love, I honestly think it's beyond that realm. I believe wholly that there's a greater force out there pulling all our lives strings, why? Simply, cause, though we might be wise, but we are just comparing to the human race and nothing else beside that. Though we form and manufactured, discovered and created, when what matters the most happens, for example, A passing of a love one, that is out of our control. Something out there, someone one, my God, is spinning this world. & He's mighty to save.

Life is difficult, no one said it was going to be easy. Life with its confusing paths and decisions, choices you have to make. If i pursue Life according to my heart, wholly just according my heart, I wont be at a desk for one third of my day, and not enjoying it. Why pursue something that doesn't even make you feel a tad of joy? And even spending that kind of time on it? I want to be one of the lucky individuals that ended up doing something that can profit enough to pay bills but the passion of it runs in my blood. Just scares me a tad when it feels like a vicious cycle that I dont know is worth it or not.

Its scary, cause you know, guess what? It's already coming the end of November.
Time passes impossibly fast.

& its impossibly hard to get a grip on it.

I still dont know how people do it, do that easy sorta lovey dovey thing.

It's weird , hah at least to me.

Goodnight.

Thank you God for getting me thru today.

A distant 3 years yesterdays.

x