Uglier things.

Frowns. And things are going to escalate and it's only going to get much uglier and difficult, but it's something that I have to do till breakthrough occurs. My secret pea i hide around tells me, Life should have lesser What Ifs no? . Never thought I would have to be subjected to be scrutinize . To be not forced but pressure to be under a certain kind of framework. Shouldnt what your interests be placed somewhere high up there too? It's scary, scary scary scary. Thats why I have my trusties.

For now, Im too tired to bother too many other things to do.
Still stretched like a tight rubber band.
Need sleep. Goodnight .
xoxo, mandy.

Stretched like a tight rubber band.

What if after 10 years, I am still stuck? Because I just keep pretending, just keep denying, just keep moving forward never stopping? Hoping but never trying, reaching but never grabbing, dreaming but never realized it. Too scared to stop, to pause , to think and get a grip on whats happening around me, too scared to feel like theres no ground below.

So I just keep running, keep moving , never stopping.

5 years will come and pass very soon.

What more 10?

Come & gone.

And Im nothing but just a fleeting moment.

xo, mandy.

Lisa Hannigan.

Contrary, Its not Love that tears us apart, it has always been , every other thing that breaks us down , betrayal , loss , heartbreaks , depression , lies , sorrows , departures , passings . And when all that happens, Love is what Keeps Us Together.

Happy 21st Birthday Olivia Lim.
Happy Birthday Hannan Ros!
Happy 20th Birthday Marc Khoo!
Happy 22nd Birthday Riko Issac!

Pss: Looong crazy tiny weeny bit of sleep week, hopefully coming week would be good. I want to watch MOVIES!



Psssss: Whenever I see a really adorable couple photo of love, words about love , quotes about being in love, I always save it. Secretly hoping one day, teeheehee I'll post it up, with my red pumping organ screaming out to some special boy. And then i realized what Im' doing, then I smirk and roll my eyes, pathetic helpless me.

Goodnight little lovelies.
I cannot wait to get it started, cannot wait for it to really be in motion , i cannot wait to leave.

xoxo, mandy.

Adam's 21st.

from that to....



this. (:





Adam Ong li ting [:


21 years of pure awesomeness.
We are not aging , we are just moving in life.
Counting years back, we have known one another for 7 years & counting.
7 years of being here and there , laughing silly , chilling , tons of dinner , boys & girls distractions that come in and out of our lives, still busy with our own little life but for reasons that beyond comprehension but just purely Love , we can still have the best of times , just sitting there, in a dark room , sipping cans of beer , indie music playing at the background , against a red wall, and have one of the best nights ever. Happy 21st birthday Adam Ong, thank you for sticking around when your the only dude in the clique, when you have to always hold our stuffs, tell us we look pretty no matter what , tell us we are not fat, and being the smart one , always helping us with our homework , allowing us to copy , hahahaha, bad students i know, oh well and even totally helping me design and do my dnt toy because you know how much i hated dnt. So thanks after all those 4 years of madness, we are still tight, still afterall, know we got one another's back.
Something about growing up together , all the wealth in life, all the certificates and supposedly futures and pretty much superficial stuffs, never fazed these people, maybe cause we see each other for who we really are, without the fanciful suits & dresses and fat wallet.

SO , happy 21st adam ong, cheers to good times.

xoxo, mandy.


pss: I am very stretched this week, beyond. Trying to maximize my 24 hours , still dreaming of my dream boy, in my head. Did the event today again at orchard, still think its a fun event to do. Saw lotsa of me friends, which is a goood thing. Okay! Gotta get going to do my stuffies.

Sleep well.

Every other day tiger.

I am craving S to my skin.
Crazy intense long day.
Must sleep after I finish my stuffs.

Still dreaming about a certain you.

The lost recipe of happiness.

Love. easy word to spell. easy word to say. most people throw around the word "love" like it's nothing. but it's definitely something. it's that "i can live without you, i just don't want to" kind of feeling that you get when you see that special someone. it's more than romance, more than the exchange of sweet words. it's the feeling of holding hands, soft kisses on the cheek, knowing that no matter what you're going through in life, no matter how you're feeling, that special someone will always be there to brighten your day, to know how to make you smile in their own special way. don't throw the word love around like it's nothing, because it's everything. never tell someone you love them when you don't. wait for that special someone, the one person that makes love what it is. - grey's anatomy

"We could spend our entire life trying to decipher the meaning of love and trying to use words to explain how exactly we feel, but we could never quite find the right dosage of words to explain it. What I know is, it pains to lose someone close to your heart, that ache, it's the opposite of love. it hurts you in places you never thought exist, while Love made you tingle in all places you never knew exist, losing someone close to your red pumping organ and reliving that moment time after time, it's never easy. Who said that after 2 years on , you'll be okay? You'll be okay , your life will move on, but what happens if one day you walk along the streets and bump into that same lover that once held your red pumping organ and smashed it into pieces. In that moment, flashbacks of what used to be reflects in both of your eyes and what could have been follows up. What I am saying is, we all heard of these heartaches and some of us even lived it , but be glad , that at least you love that much once in your life, even if the aftermath of aches were incomprehensible. Do we all gradually move on when we lose that person we always thought was gonna be that one? Do our heart ever beats in that fast beating, palms sweating , butterflies , smiling all around whenever wherever for no apparent reason? How do we do that when that person that shattered that red pumping organ is the very best you can get? Maybe only time can tell. "



Wise old words from a 18 to be little girly.


Funnnnnnnnnny! hahahah!
Oh my gosh , paper tomorrow!
kanchiong spidey only. hahahah!
Anyways, I think its a good thing t have an out of reach person in your life, at least you strive to want to be better. Better in all aspects. Its the ideology of it, not really the person involved.

xoxo, mandy!

Perfect score on me list.

I don't know what you smoke
or what countries you've been to
if you speak any other languages other than your own
but I'd like to meet you
I don't know if you drive
if you love the ground beneath you
I don't know if you write letters or panic on the phone
still I'd like to call you all the same,
if you want to, I am game.

I don't know if you can swim
or if the sea has any draw for you
if you're better in the morning
or when the sun goes down
I'd like to talk to you
I don't know if you can dance
if the thought ever occurred to you
if you eat what you've been given
or push it round your plate
still I'd like to cook for you all the same,
I would wash, I am game,

If you walk my way
and I could keep my head
we could creep away in the dark or maybe not,
we could shoot it down anyway.

I don't know if you read novels or the magazines
if you love the hand that feeds you
I assume that your heart's been bruised
I'd like to know you
you don't know if I can draw at all
or what records I am into
if I sleep like a spoon or rarely at all
or maybe you would do?
maybe you would do

if I walk your way
I will keep my head
we will feel our way through the dark though
I don't know you
I think that I would do
I don't fall easy at all



You are currently my new obsession .
I dont know you , but I know I want to, get to know you.
Hope to see you along the streets randomly one day p.
And I'll say " mmm , you look familiar, remind me again where........? "

xoxo,mandy.