Matthew 6v19-33

For a long time I have been reaching out, maybe not as much as I should have but I have been. This morning while riding the train to work, after maybe conscious effort of listening to Praise FM in the morning and the night when I sleep has slowly tuned me a bit more towards God.

Well, I am now currently anxiously waiting for a response for something that I feel is good for me and my direction. I envisioned how things will be like for me this entire year and a favorable response to that question will please me alot. Very anxious and nervous but God is showing me how to trust and to understand that hey… no matter which direction the answer is heading towards, I will be okay. What is so amazing about this God of mine is that He communicates with me in his own subtle ways. So…. while riding the train this morning listening to some family workshop on Praise FM, God suddenly imprinted Matthew 6v24 to be exact into my heart. And Having the awesome iphone, i immediately browsed for the verse.

" No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other,or he will be devoted to the one and despite the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. " I reckon this is God's way of reminding me why I do what I do, why I make some decisions, that to always make sure the reasons behind these acts remains faithful and in tune with His ways. I am human, but He, He is God. And through Him, I can always try.

So then He prompted me to read from Matthew 6v19.. all the way to Matthew 6v33..

So what spoke most to me next was.. Matthew 6v25, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you eat or rink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important then clothes? Look at the birds of the air: they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

v28 " And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies in the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you? O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying " What shall we eat" or "What shall we drink? or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavently Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I was immediately calmed and … reminded of how much He loves us. Who am I to say He will love me any much lesser because of my wrongful doings that are human errors? But thank God for being merciful. Well, I trust Him with that decision and I lift it up onto Him. And I thank Him for reminding me all these lessons and humbling myself again.

Amen, thank You for loving me.

Our amazing God.

God's favour never cease to amaze me.

Expectancy is the seedbed for miracles to happen

1.speak to things on behalf of God
(Telling your problems howww Big our God is)

2. Speak to God on behalf of things.
(He is our best listener, always faithful)

Mountain moving faith -

Then, we not only know what He has said, we will then experience the
faithfulness in fulfilling it .

Amen

I am very thankful God, thankful for the doors and opportunities. I trust in You no matter what the results are because I know You know what is the best for me.

<3

The Black Keys - Too afraid to Love.

My gears they grind
More each day
And I feel like
They're gonna grind away

And the city blocks
They drive me wild
They're never ending
Mile after mile

I just don't know what to do
I'm too afraid to love you

It's heaven on earth
In her embrace
Her gentle touch
And her smiling face

I'm just one wishing
That I was a pair
With someone
Oh somewhere

All those sleepless nights
And all those wasted days
I wish loneliness would leave me
But I think he's here to stay
What more can I do
I'm wringing myself dry
And I can't afford to lose
One more teardrop from my eye

why you act all so nonchalant for a intention i do not comprehend.

// upset with you.

// praying for that prog , praying my dream will never come true , praying He oh so merciful , will bring salvation to mumsy , praying safety , praying for comfort, praying for you.

xx

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE TOMORROW.

WOOOOOOO.

Lego house.

To tear down those walls, to tear down and destroy all those defense mechanism theories ive built up over the past four years, to slowly step out and be open. First time in 4 years , i admit my theories are semi flawed. Some stands some were just purely habits, unhealthy. At the end of the day, when it all begin on a clean slate, i dont know but i hope somehow or rather , you'll be standing there. Otherwise, hopefully someone well suited.

Work, that one slot. Need to focus , need to get it. Where's that motivation mandy? Dig deep and find it, no procrastinating anymore. Even if its just one, you can be that one.

God I pray you open my eyes to new things , open my heart to accept everything , open doors that I can finally step into and feel at home. Thank you once more for my family, my wonderful sweet family, thank you for forgiving my shortcomings , my wonderful awesome support group. And thank you for every single day in my 21 ish years of life. Striving, for the better in life and not lose sight of what is important. Balance, i think i use that word a countless times. I still trying to achieve that ; realizing that it comes easily with you around to guide me. So here, thank my hand, let me be planted.

xxxx be my source of strength and give me wisdom to see things in the long run. give me skills to work around people and love them with a open heart.

xxx, i miss you i think.

the heart.

Because they love you so much, because it almost doesnt matter if im in that equation or not; you are being remembered everyday. i wish there was a way to give you and me that initial spark that most people have when they first fall in love, the rest that people work so hard for, we do not lack. its the heart beating, nervous, shy but madly pheromones driven love that we missed out on.

guide me Lord, for a piece of me will always be with him.

the distance , is it just that? or was it going because of the first time ever, it was so real from the start, i couldnt handle and i just ran. when basically all i wanted was there, in lego pieces, waiting for us to build.

x,

love.

Tough times.

"You know that feeling when you’re just waiting, waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let out everything that you have kept in all day? Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either, and you’re tired, tired of everything, tired of nothing, and you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay, but no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting, tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else, tired of being strong, and for once, you just want it to be easy, to be simple, to be helped, to be saved, but you know you won’t be, but you’re still hoping and you’re still wishing and you’re still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting."

~ darren c.

Lately things been tough, not for me, but for alot of people i care about. every other week i hear something bad, though that being said i of course thank God for everytime i wake up with a brand new start, fresh air to breathe. but i am tired of hearing so many bad things happening to good people. today i lost my phone too, i am angry not cause i lost my phone. how do i put this. i left it for a couple of mins, walk in and look for it and waited for everyone to lie to me that they didnt take it. humanity much? sense of disappointment. forgiveness, maybe tomorrow. so then, cause lately with alot of things going wrong, i kept having a nagging feeling that.. when is it my turn? well, maybe losing my phone was a thing. even now i cant really comprehend it. simply cause its unbelievable, cause i remember exactly where i left it. sigh, trust. so hard to earn among people. do we really need monitors to be placed around to cause fear? do we really do not have enough integrity in us? why is it that in the country side people sleep with their doors open but people who are apparently more civilized like in the city, have ten thousand locks and crime rates are so high? Why is it the more educated we are, the more mistakes we tend to make? We become complicated living here surrounded by technology and as though, the more things we know, the more things we understand, we become more self absorbed and obscene. Why do people who live far off the country side, sleep with peace? sleep with simplicity , dont get me wrong, i am sure one or two must have done smth bad. but im saying, the very simple question, why is there even a need for us to be so wary till we lock our gates and wooden doors while people who are less educated, know less of the world, sleep peacefully with their doors wide open?

I need things to start getting right, true i should count my blessings, health for my family , health for most of my friends, but i need something to get right in my life. I hope losing the phone, wont be the start of things going downwards.

Night. Trying to not be sappy about the new year. beside having two huge pimples and putting on many kilos, being drawn into an argument i am not willing to be in , things not going right with one of my closest friend that i will probably lose , anything more? I certainly pray no more.

x

i need a break, but even now flying feels like a bad idea.

2012

2012.. Here we go.

Sappy stuffs & resolutions save for another day.

It was a pretty okay awesome way to kick start the new year; like always.

Hope everyone had a decent 2011,

if not, remember to always count your blessings.

Night.