25th Aug - Sermon Feedback.

‎25th Aug 2012

Post Faith Sermon.

This sermon particularly highlighted to me the importance to check my heart when I pray. I do believe that whenever we pray about certain "choices" or "decisions" we tend to already kind of make up our mind, that is sometimes a bit dangerous because you know.. you tend to hear/see what you want to hear and see. That can be very misleading, so I am reminded that when I come to the Father to pray about something, I check my heart. To make sure that, sure.. there might be a possibility that I am leaning more towards a certain decision more so than the other... but to have a heart that is after God and His will for me. 

Pastor also mentioned about paying attention to the process. True, the end result , end product is something that entices us to even begin to want to begin a journey. But we cannot forget that the process is very important. It gets us to where we are meant to go. When we are face with the question if we want to seek God & His will, for me, my answer is yes. Of course it is not easy but I have come to realize that His ways are always better than mine, what He has planned for me will always be better than what I think I know, because.. the fact is I do not know. It all starts with the heart, so I pray that my heart desires will be to please God and not men or even myself, to have my desire to please Him to be stronger than any disability that tries to stop me from doing what He has planned for me.

He also reminded me that I already have His general will with me, the bible. He will be same today, yesterday and tomorrow. Nothing He says will contradict the written Word. Before my specific will comes along, I first have to abide in His Word. Because I need to be able to sieve out the noise and listen clearly to Him , we will make mistakes, hear wrongly but God, He who is perfect, will never make a mistake. So I am praying this week , I will have a heart that desires are to please Him and no one else. That I am make sure my daily quiet time is to listen to Him instead of "ranting" off. To listen and to wait upon His word.

Thank you for the word Ps Daniel.

Love,
Amanda.

Have a good week ahead lovelets, see you guys wed.

♥

Death.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147v3

For everything else that is more important than the nitty gritty of life, 

I pray You give comfort, shelter to both her and her family.

Thru this difficult time, to show Yourself so clearly she can no longer deny You,

instead of running further away, she will draw closer to You.

God , my dear Lord Almighty, I pray You saturate her in Your Love.

That she knows that you are right there, loving , caring , understanding her.

I pray you help me to help her, to be strong for her.

I pray you first soften her heart, so she will allow You in , to allow me in.

I pray you cuddle her tonight to sleep, let her know that you collect every teardrops of hers.

We might not understand why some things happens the way they do but we need to trust in You.

Because You are the only one that is certain, nothing else is.

Just hold her tight, hold her so very tight, embrace her, fill her anew with Love, that you might not deliver her from this but You are right there with her, going through it together.

Let her learn to reach out when she needs too, let her learn to rely at least on You and people You place in her life, that she knows that human flesh is weak but strength drawn for you will gives us strength to carry on, grace to endure the hardship.

Let her know that you know she is hurting, that her heart is broken but You are right there, right beside her, reaching out, waiting for her to just reach out and collapse into your arms. Please keep knocking on her door, so she knows that You love her so very much. That every amount shes hurting, you are hurting even more. That though things are blurry now, confusing even, she'll learn to trust in You.

Hold her heart in your palms, Lord I pray, protect and be strong for her.

Saturate her with Your Love , allow her to be soften to know so many loves her too.

I pray against the devil and his disgusting negativity thoughts, Lord I pray you remove all of it, I cast them out in your name.  Fill her only with love, strength drawn from you so she may carry the weight, softening of the heart so she allow people you placed in her life to help her carry the weight. She must not go thru this alone. For You are there for her.

Fill her with your love, cuddle her, love her.

Amen.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted . Matthew 5v4

For He is always faithful.

Lately I've drawn closer to God, for reasons both known and unknown. 

He has shown me that I cover up alot of things, pushing mountains under the carpet.

Hiding it away. What got me really upset with myself that I didnt see that I did not know my God enough to know that there was nothing with hoping, with wanting something. How is that possible? its as though I thought that if I wanted something too much? God will take it away from me. Contrary, dont get me wrong, there are times when you want things that are no good for you.. of course God is not going to give you. But, not even hoping or wanting things? is messed up. Our God only wants to prosper you, to give you the best of best, how does He do that? You need to first expect, live with an expectancy that you'll be victorious , that good things can happen to you, to dare to place yourself in a situation that is beyond yourself, to dive head in first... so God can come in and make it happen for you.

Raw emotions, raw thoughts, but it will get clearer as I think it through.

God is showing me so much, showing me that I do not understand Him , that I doubt Him, His never changing characteristics, He only wants the best for me, how can I think that He does not want to give? To the extend of not even daring to step out, not even having faith. It is okay to hope, to want, to ask my sweetheart, was what He was whispering to me. The difference is.. to ask, to hope, to want but to understand that sometimes He does not give / answer not because He is not listening, but because you are not ready. That the end product/blessing, should not determine your faith in Him & His promises.

He's teaching me, telling me, to let Him do the driving, my hands off the wheel, He's going to take me thru an adventure. To be comfortable with feeling, to ask, to hope, to want.. but having that immense faith that believes/expects it to happen but.. resides in that truth that even if it doesnt, He is still true, He is still faithful, He is still never changing. Its as though He's telling me that , Amanda Amanda Amanda.. you want to reach new heights? Come along with me. If you do not ask, if you do not hope, if you do not want enough, you'll always be only doing mediocre work, nothing great, nothing spectacular, because you are relying on your own strength, within your own comfort zone sweetheart.. so failing is a very low probability because you dealt those cards on your own.. But if you come along with Me, I will take you to higher highs.. teaching you to step out, to relying on Me instead on your own strength, to garner more faith in Me .. that is only going to happen if you my dear, will step out.. step out and learn to be ok, to be a human with emotions, needs, wants, it's okay to ask my dear.. It's okay. Just always trust me.. Be close to my heart, be after my heart.. I only ever want the best for you sweet heart.. if your earthly father will give you everything, what more your heavenly Father?

My dear heavenly Father is teaching me how to love first by being okay with having emotions, emotions that I entrust to Him instead of handling it on my own. This… is a first.

Daniel 3v13, having faith like the 3 boys, never wavering faith, non circumstantial faith.

Goodnight.

stress on a high

Sigh, I am stress. And very lethargic, I feel like ive been going around in circles. Like as though im holding things together but actually its all falling apart. Defeated much but no, I pray to You oh Lord, that You take my burdens and help me through this tough time. Times like these where I second guess myself, my self worth, my abilities, I pray You help me trust You and myself. I pray that you will let me have faith and that I will not feel defeated but feel victorious . That eventually everything will work out. That I will stand at the end point and understand why I have to go thru certain things. Please also give me a heart that is thankful and please teach me the virtue of having patience.


So Lord I pray, you help me prep and help me trust and know that You always go forth and prepare the way for me.


Amen.

Trust and faith

It was really good to meet with God on sunday and gained that fresh hope and feeling like my burden is being lifted up. That message on sunday was very much for me and targeted at my situation. So thank you for giving me the courage to go down and seek prayer. and thanks for the lady who did pray for me , who was spot on about the situation. I still pray for a miracle, regardless of its kind. I will seek You, seek your kingdom, seek your love and seek to learn to trust You first before everything else.
I pray for directions and I pray that I will learn to seek You before man.


I pray i will have a good sleep tonight.

All will be for the better. And i have this tiny wee bit crush on this boy.
hahaha.. been making the days better.


Night.

Rough Patch

So, I think it might be final that i aint getting it. When I first got the news, i sat at my desk and was extremely overwhelmed. I did not know what to do, i just knew i had to breathe. I counted ten, typed some random work and stood up went to the washroom, closed the cubicle and cried. I felt my entire body cringed at the resounding news and I did not know how to behave. Logically my mind kept reminding me all the politically correct things regarding the situation , about how if God closes one door, He's going to open another, dont lose faith, keep praying. With God, dream big, surrender it to Him and let Him deal with it. Yeah I know all these, I also trust in all of these. Though my emotions at that point of time was uncontrollable. At this very moment, I am still feeling really low and disappointed with myself. Though I am in a better composed self. I am a bit cynic and snappy , largely finding my cave and hide. Cringing whenever i scroll past the official email. My entire being gets the goosebumps , and it's not the good kind of goosebumps. Everything fit, coincidences and chances, random surprises and all, it fit. Yet, the outcome is not ideal at this point of time, though, with God.. you need to trust. You might not understand why He does not give you some of the things you pray so hard for but you need to trust that He knows whats best for you better then you. I promise I am only going to be sappy till Monday and then i'll recover. Really need to start planning a way out or a better way because the brim is here. Gotta pray cause very lost right now. Still pray for that tiny hope that I'll get another email for acceptance. It could happen, with God it could. Especially when it felt really right, though it might just be my own emotions crowding up my judgement. But yes, I will still pray about it, hoping for the impossible. It will only , it can only, come with Him and Him alone.


Having the muster seed of faith and hope, I hence lift up my load to You Oh Lord, please take them and I pray, for now, that someone will reject it and somehow or rather, it will be given to yours truly. Believing in miracles, why pray? because in a second, God can do all things I cannot do even if I spend my entire life trying. There is no harm in believing and praying for the best. Whichever it is, i know it is for the best. As much as the enemy is shouting and trying to put negative thoughts in my mind, i will only turn and look to God. Just 2 - 3 days of sappiness, I'll be alright. Disappointments, I'll feel all these negativity emotions and I will turn it all around and make it work for me.


So I pray, for good or better, a path that You laid out for me, I will be able to identify it and walk in it.
Faith & Hope .
And I pray God, you, heal my wound and take away all these negativity thoughts, for I am made in the image of You.
Nothing less, nothing more.


And thank you Lord for the people who been there and who have been extremely supportive. Specific people you placed in my life to support me. I thank You so much for them.

Amen.

Life is short. very short.

To Dominique Lee.

For a person that I hardly know but heard of alot , for a person that means alot , means the world to many of the people I care about. For your family and for everyone that loves you.

I pray, you are safe in God's hand.

// So. Just heard that one of a friend passed on. Nah we are not tight, definitely really havent spoken to him, perhaps glances and a simple hi. but darn, its close enough with about a great number of my mates being affected by this. it serves a very very important reminder about how simple life can be just here and then gone. So do not take for granted every morning when you wake up, every night when you go to bed. Because, you been blessed with another day. I'm not saying to live life and totally ignore consequences, live it in such a way that you know what matters to do what does not and you keep working towards it. Ignore the rest, cause seriously, it will all come to pass. Set out goals, set out foot prints, strive and keep striving, keep trying. No sweeties, no one wakes up thinking it's their last day. No one, so please do cherish every breathe.

~ God bless his family and his loved ones for he has played a huge part in those people's life.

Amen.